Catch up with me :)
So. It’s been exactly 96 days (and counting!) since I left home and came to college. Since I said goodbye to my parents and brother. Since I walked out of favorite hiding spot and my little refuge: my room. (I did go back home during Labor Day and Fall break because I forgot a couple things at home and also really wanted to see my family LOL). I also found out to my pleasant surprise that my brother and dad lowkey took over my room but it’s all good. That just continues to prove how comfortable and amazing my room is; what can I say :) It’s been a crazy three-ish months or so. And yet from time to time, it still doesn’t feel real.
Yes, I’ve gotten used to waking up and realizing that I’m not in my cozy room. But it’s also a nice change to wake up to and see an adorable face to my left (hehe peep my roommate) either still sleeping or getting up. Or telling me to get up before I hit snooze.
Yes, I’ve gotten used to having to plan ahead of time when and where I’m going to eat. Maybe it’s not that I’m used to it but I kind of have to. But thus far, it’s probably the biggest factor that made me realize that I have to be independent and take care of myself. It also means that I can’t passively live without much thought. It’s also made me incredibly appreciative of home at a new level.
Yes, I absolutely love seeing people who mean so much to me now basically everyday (more or less). It’s so nice to be living with and walking alongside others who share the same values and beliefs as me.
Yes, I love making my own schedule and planning out my own day. It doesn’t always go as planned, but the fact that I can go wherever I need to whenever I’d like to study, get comfy, and get things done has been absolutely life changing.
But in many moments, I still feel as if I am at a long extended camp. Maybe this is all a part of the sudden change of comfort, setting, environment, mentality.
I miss saying goodnight to my parents and my brother. I do try to text them goodnight every day or whenever we’re active altogether in our fam group chat, but it’s just different to do when we’re not together in person.
I miss being able to share how my day is looking to my family without feeling like I am a burden to others who are as busy and stressed. I had a thing where I would share every single assignment coming up with my parents, talk out some ideas together, share what I learned at school, how are my friends doing etc. I’ve tried to keep it up but it’s been really difficult to do so without being present with them in the moment. There is facetime, but it’s missing that intimate component that I wish I can have.
I miss the friendships that I built back at home with my high school and church friends. Of course many of us were separated because of college and thank goodness we can still communicate from time to time, but it’s hard when everyone’s schedule is so different and it’s hard to keep up. I’m trying to see if I can come up with a good method to resolve this problem.
I miss eating fresh cut fruits at night. Dang. I think this one pretty much makes me the most sad haha. What made it special was that our entire family would eat fruits together in the kitchen together at like 11pm or even later LOL. It was a good break, time to chill, maybe watch a clip of running man hehe, talk about how our evening’s been going, and the like. I can’t wait to do that again when I go back home for Thanksgiving. But most of all, I just miss the simple comfort of living together under the same roof as my family.
Wow that became incredibly sentimental especially towards the end. But really, I think I’m ok. Just trying to get used to this new chapter of my life a little bit at a time.
For now, I am absolutely in love with this new experience where I am forced to be uncomfortable but am slowly learning to adjust and learn more about who I am. I have faith that God is leading me through these difficult moments and teaching me the way that He wants me to live.
For we live by faith, not by sight.
Signing off with Faith Hope Love & Joy, Grace
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