Hope quarantine is treating you all well :)
I always love spreading positivity and being joyful as God’s daughter made in His image. But I also want to be very real and genuine. In all honesty, I’m not sure where I am.
For the past few days, I’m not sure but I’ve been feeling a little off. Partially, it’s the weather. I just looked outside my window and even though it’s supposed to be nice and bright on such a beautiful Saturday afternoon, it’s not. It’s gloomy, the leaves on trees kind of sinking. There’s no one walking around outside. No cars going by either. Oh jokes I just saw one drive by. There’s no noise. No birds chirping. No movement. Just stillness.
There’s also a lot of thoughts in my mind. I’m not busy. Maybe that’s why I’ve had too much time on my hands to get sucked into my thoughts. Thoughts on the future. Thoughts about next semester. Thoughts on quarantine. Thoughts on how I’m going to stay sane. Thoughts on how different life will be like after getting out of quarantine. Thoughts on friendships and if things will change after seeing them in person. Just a whirlwind- or what is that called, a funnel cake- of thoughts.
I’ve been saying I’m going to clean up my room, get my sleep schedule together, and try to figure out things I’d like to do during this quarantine while I have the time. Relax, destress from a kind of rough finals season, reflect on my first year of college, all that.
I haven’t really done any of that yet. Yikes. And though I keep telling myself it’s ok, is it really ok? I don’t think so.
I admit it. I wait until I’m absolutely shattered. Completely broken. At the lowest of all lows. And then I realize. I’ve been neglecting the truth the ENTIRE TIME. I’ve tried to depend on myself for strength.
So where should I really start? From the beginning.
Reading the word not just to check it off of my to do list. But really reading with a desire to know more, to learn and also meet Him. I’ll be honest. When it comes to communicating and devotionals, I’d much rather sing songs of praise and worship. It’s always been my outlet and I am sure it will forever be like that. But now it’s time since I have time to read more carefully. After all, I can’t get that far with worship. It’s through reading and meditating on the word of life that will teach me and show me what is right. How to live.
There is an insane number of absolutely inspiring, cry-worthy, heart touch/aching stories, passages, verses. Let me demonstrate.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. Isaiah 43:2
Who else is willing to be there when you’re at your lowest? The most uncomfortable, distressing place to be? No one other than God. He is more than willing to be there by our side, carrying us on His back, and helping us get through it.
Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
Yes, I will help you. That affirmation… And who else can say such comforting words that are not just to make us feel better but will be directly put into effect??
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow nor crying. Neither shall there be any more pain. Revelation 21:4
That. Hits. Home. I know this is talking about the future when Jesus will return for the second time, but to hear and read about that now, to know that the future will be this way, is such a great reminder of His goodness and faithfulness even until the end of the age.
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalms 46:1
A very present help. He’s literally right next to me, watching over me, knowing my every thoughts, pains, worries, troubles. And yet what do I do? I’m not sure what’s wrong with my heart. I want to know you, seek you, and find you. But why can’t I seem to do it? Are there too many distractions in my head? Lord, hear my desperate cry for you… Once and for all. Help me…
In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33
Period. Nothing more needs to be said. But I’m going to say more anyways.
There are too many things to worry about in this world. But all of it is so trivial when you put it into perspective with the truth.
Look how sweet, calming, and reassuring His word is. Imagine what it’d be like to read and soak it all in. I’ve always struggled to find the most effective way to go about reading, but now might be a good time to try new things and have some fun along the way.
Prayer life. #prayerlifebestlife
I’ve heard that too many times. And truly, what’s better than privately interceding with Him. What’s better than setting aside time to speak, share, pour out my heart to Him? And yet it takes discipline. It takes diligence and practice, as ridiculous as it sounds. Sometimes, I just repeat the same words or phrases and hey, it’s a way to keep communicating. But I’m going to try even harder to truly put my thoughts together and share everything on my heart.
Journal life. Prayer journals, reflection time. Quiet time.
I definitely resonate with this too. My obsessions for notebooks & journals as well as pens can testify AHAH. I really want to get back on this too. What’s better than solidifying our thoughts on paper and having it forever? Though honestly I don’t like to read it until a few years have gone by :)
a reflective, calming, peaceful pic :) <3
Honestly, writing this reflection in and of itself has been really helping me too. I feel so much more refreshed, recharged, and determined to do a better job during this quarantine to really make amends with my relationship with God and hopefully spark something else in me.
Sorry for the jumbled but classic brain dump basically every single post of mine but if you’ve made it this far, thank you. I really mean it. :)
This song has been on my heart these past few days. Wanted to share a snippet of lyrics with you.
You are worthy of it all
You are worthy of it all
For from you are all things
And to you are all things
You deserve the glory
Worthy of it All by UPPERROOM
So God, humble me, your servant.
For we live by faith, not by sight.
Signing off with Faith Hope Love & Joy, Grace
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