The past couple of days, I’ve realized that I’ve been struggling with finding fulfillment from other people, grades, body image, etc.
I think I often put expectations on people, and find myself dissapointed or lonely or feeling rather empty when they don’t “live up” to them. I think this happens at times when I feel left out or if a friend and I talk about doing something and I see them doing it with someone else and think “thanks for the invite.” I know people have their moments and the world doesn’t revolve around me and I completely understand that sometimes someone just doesn’t feel like spending time with you and/or wants to spend individual time with someone else, but I think these feelings of emptiness are still really tough and something that stems from a result of my expectations of others and my seeking of fulfillment from others.
I’ve become a lot more at peace on my own in college (with God!), and I’m really happy about that, but I think I have a lot more room to improve. I want to be at a point where what other people say and do affects me less.
I think I put too much faith in other people, when I should be putting all my Faith in God and finding my true fulfillment from Him. Because as I write this, I remember, I am a child of God, and that truly is the best part of my identity (I heard someone say this once when they asked him, “what’s your best quality?” and loved his response and so agree). I absolutely love people and am so grateful and believe everyone is incredible, but I think I want to place less of my identity in whether others like me. I find myself getting so excited over a nice text or when someone wants to spend time with me (which are all great things and I’m so grateful:)), but then so sad when someone doesn’t seem to want to get to know me as much as I’d like to know them.
And as finals are upon us, I think it easy to overstress and be anxious, when really I should focus on doing what I can and working hard and then leaving it to God. I want to do well, but I shouldn’t place my worth or identity in my grades.
This is definitely a learning process for me, but I’m really grateful that I’m learning more about myself and realizing areas I want to work on. I would love to hear from you about similar struggles or if you have any ideas as to how you practically live each moment finding fulfillment ultimately from God.
Saved by grace, through faith.
With love,
Joyce
Bible verse connection: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:38 I think God spoke to me this morning as I read this verse, especially during this finals period. This verse reminds me that when we are tired and are feeling down, we should always remember that God is there to strengthen us and that we can always go to Him at any moment.
P.S. I took this image in Hawaii and found it kind of fitting heh it gives me a very ~reflective~ vibe and is a pretty peaceful image I feel like. :) And to be a little metaphorical, let's keep walking (or jogging if you are feeling particularly ambitious;)) and going on our paths and working on ourselves heh!
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